Grace Community Christian Church

 

Archived Things Above

Hand-Off in a Waiting Room (11/7/01)

There's no way the nurse could have known she was ushering in the final phase of a young girl's countdown, but she was. "Just sit down right here & fill out some paperwork for me."

Three of us were present last Friday morning at the outpatient surgical center: Bethany, my oldest daughter; Ben, her fiancee; & me. Bethany, the patient, sat down opposite the nurse & began filling out the forms. The seat next to her, on the left, was where I as the father would customarily have plopped myself down to offer paternal assurances. My eyes met Ben's as his raised eyebrows queried as to which one of us should occupy that seat. While he was no doubt more than willing to yield it to me, I nodded for him to take it.

"She's yours now. Might as well get used to it," I said to him, as I took my place in the general waiting area. That's when it hit me: for 19 years it's been either her mom or me in that other seat, always. Writing checks, co-signing forms, asking questions, double-checking information. Comforting. Reassuring. Clarifying. Being there. It's what parents do.

But now another man sat in that chair. Granted, she's not legally his until November 10, but emotionally, it's a done deal. He's in, I'm out. A friend of mine told me I was wrong, I should have sat there & played the daddy-role right to the end. But that's my point: I have reached The End.

For almost 20 years Kim & I have boldly declared that our job as parents was to raise our children to leave home. While we would love & encourage & support them always, it was never our intention to have them dependent on us for ever. That's not good for them, or us. With three teenage daughters, they have all steadily moved "away" from us to some degree or another, just as I did from my parents & you did from yours.

From sleep-overs at friends' houses, to camping out in the back yard, to entire weeks at Christian camps, to even longer choir tours across Canada, to whole semesters at college- her whole life has been a path to this moment.

God's Word says, " . . . a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one." (Genesis 2:24, NLT)

She's yours now, Ben. Do more than just get used to it. Cherish it. Never take this relationship for granted. Because as much as I know it's good & right for you to sit in that chair, I'd trade places with you in a heartbeat.


Jim Dewar --