Grace Community Christian Church

 

Archived Things Above

Missing Software (12/28/06)

I thought I had many more years before I would have to worry about Alzheimers, but a recent case of lost software really made me wonder. I had installed an upgrade to Corel's Paint Shop Pro on my office computer & had it setting out on my desk to take home to install on my laptop as well, so I could do the practice exercises. I even called my best bud Grant up in Toronto to let him know I now had it. (He is a digital imaging guru & it makes him feel good to have to be my help-desk.) It was right next to my monitor when it went missing.

I spent one entire day running all my brain cells at full RPM just trying to remember what I did with it. Was it in the car? Four ransacked glove-boxes later, no software. Did I throw it out by mistake? Several dumped out trashcans & dumpsters later, no software. Was it in my credenza? One of my briefcases? On a bookshelf? In the TV room? Laundry room? Racquetball bag? Nightstand? Sock drawer? On top of the refrigerator? Junk drawer? Toolbox? Downstairs computer room? Desk drawer? Paula's desk? Paula's junk drawer?

Desperate, I offered a reward for whoever found it: lunch for two anywhere in Frederick. Now Teresa Hyden was on a mission. She re-searched everyplace possible on the church property, including my old truck for sale out by the road. It was awkward trying to work with her constantly interrupting to check my bookshelves "just one more time." But she was hungry & determined. I even checked the Pavilion to see if maybe I had left it there after prayer meeting. No software. Kim & Paula scoured as well; nothing.

I even wondered if we had a thief among us. My office is very accessible, & who's to say someone didn't just pass through & lift it? Immediately I dismissed that as a possibility, & felt bad that I had even gone there in my mind, but desperation isn't always rational, is it? I mean, there's a lot better things to steal from my office, like the talking outhouse, or the bobble-head Jesus, or the Pocket Terminator missile launcher/death ray gun.

Finally, at the end of one of the most frustrating days in recent memory, as I sat in my favorite position with my feet up on the desk, I realized I had done some Christmas shopping the day before & had hidden the bags behind the metal filing cabinet in the laundry room closet. "What if I stuck the software in there & forgot about it?" I wondered. Sure enough: right next to the police scanner I had bought myself for Christmas was the elusive box! Right where I had put it.

Immediately I began making phone calls, letting people know they could take their lives off of hold & return to their regularly scheduled Christmas holiday. The Grinch had been converted. Rudolph had come through. It was a wonderful life after all. I stopped complete strangers in the mall & at the YMCA & informed them "I found it! Yes!! I'm not crazy!" I got some weird looks but I do think deep down they were happy that I was happy.

Luke 15 is the chapter in the Bible that deals explicitly with "lost things": the shepherd finds the sheep, the woman the coin, the father the son, the God the sinner. And in every case, "there was much rejoicing." Lostness isn't fun, & it isn't natural. Everything & everyone is made to belong somewhere or to someone. Christmas reminds us of how important the search is for God, & for many of us, how good it feels to be found.

Now, if I can only find that case for my clip-on sunglasses . . .


Jim Dewar --